Being Bipolar and Kicking Ass at Life

Wait, are you talking to me?

The June Tribal rainmakers call made me realize why I am able to lead the life I always aspired to. Typically I listen to the Tribal Rainmakers call as part of my job so that I can develop our social media and other outreach. Imagine my surprise when the last call caused me to really see that I am a Tribal Rainmaker.

After joining the CultureSync tribe in November of 2011, I was stepping into new territory — leadership. I had worked with big corporations in the past, but true leadership (as opposed to management) was new to me. Although the company I had worked for displayed their core values in every hall, they were just words to me and there was no personal connection. CultureSync opened my eyes to the foundation of a great company culture via Tribal Leadership and fantastic coaching.

The Enneagram

In the beginning, I really needed to learn more about myself. I was new to Los Angeles and new to Tribal Leadership. I remember being in a planning meeting with Harte and she suggested that I take the Enneagram test. When you google Enneagram this definition comes up: “a nine-sided figure used in a particular system of analysis to represent the spectrum of possible personality types.” Well, turns out I was a 2 (“The Helper”) with a 7 wing (“The Enthusiast”). Essentially, I love to help others and enjoy life to the fullest. I could not have agreed more!

I could go on about how much I relate to the personality type results and I will make other connections later on. I really want to come back to the last Tribal Rainmakers call, my “Ah Ha!” moment, and how big my eyes got when connecting the dots.

Tribal Rainmakers

I went from feeling like a leader, but never really being able to define my strengths to my “Ah Ha” moment on the June call. I could finally relate as being a Rainmaker. Although the scale and approach is different in my day-to-day, I can be confident in my leadership and understand my mojo is that of a Tribal Rainmaker.

In every situation, there is an optimistic view. It may not be a knee jerk reaction to see the best instantly, but being resourceful can really impact what you manifest. There is always going to be “sh*t that hits the fan,” however, that doesn’t mean you dwell on that. I feel that the negative energy can only lead to the situation’s downfall.

As the June call progressed, Dave seemed to be talking directly to me. He said, “There is a problem with Rainmakers, they start to do busyness development and every day they do one thing that is a problem. They give away their future time that is not value added for anyone. High achievers, you have an unfortunate addition to busyness development.”

Well, this goes right back into the Enneagram. Their [type 2] thinking is anticipatory: they foresee events and generate ideas “on the fly,” favoring activities that stimulate their minds—which in turn generate more things to do and think about.

Black Hole Weakness

Another concept discussed in Tribal Rainmakers is the Black Hole Weakness. There is a weakness that you have and it is so big it sucks your future tasks or events in and requires constant energy and will power to manage. For me, this was a never ending battle with bipolar disorder. In the Enneagram, this shows up in my type 7 wing as an unhealthy level 9. In essence, when I was upset, I would disappear. You can read more about that here.

I have been managing this black hole weakness since 2006 and for 4-years without the help of medication. This was a risk I consciously took. I was moving from the Midwest to Los Angeles and was leaving behind my life and my medication. It was almost like jumping off a cliff without knowing how rocky the water would be. This was myself searching for a cure and then creating it. What I had in mind was sunshine and love, no meds, so the rest was up to me.

Reshaping the beliefs of my tribe

Once my spontaneity took over, the tribe that I was a part of happen to be against my moving across the country. This tribe was not perfectly formed, but they were people in my life. I did not understand what tribes were yet, but I knew it was a group of people in my life that were not OK with my decision to leave the comfort of 5 medications a day and a very regimented life that my doctors had set in place.

I had created a little science experiment with my life which, in turn lead me to CultureSync, the world of Tribal Leadership and realizing that I, too, was a Tribal Rainmaker.

I realize now my black hole weakness was that I spent my time being scattered and over extended. Knowing this about myself and that I am a type 2 (“The Helper”) with a 7 wing (“The Enthusiast”) I was able to find harmony between my strengths and weaknesses. Ultimately, I became a lot more grounded and confident in my abilities as a person and slowly but surely found a way to live life without my medication. My medications were a great help in stabilizing my mood, but for me it was not sustainable as I could not see myself under a chemical haze forever.

However, this will not work for everyone and the journey was mine. I needed the medication to stabilize, but then they were holding me back from recovery. They were my crutch and I had the support to test this theory. As stated on the call, I had found a solution that was crafted specifically for me.